5 posts tagged “fb status”

So, if you don't want to hear about my menstrual cycle, just stop reading now.

As has happened in the past when I got an early period, for some reason the emotional effects are even worse than normal. (And I seriously am about two clicks away from asking for prozac because I get CRAZY with the PMS.)  Anyhoo, I was minding my own business earlier this evening, sitting on the couch and watching 48 Hours Mystery, a show I am embarrassed to admit that I am obsessed with. (And if you watched tonights episode and want to discuss, well, you know how to find me.)  A commercial for CBS' new show "Greatest American Dog" comes on ...

...and I promptly burst into fucking tears like a little bitch.

I also remembered the other FB status message that I wanted to write:

tortuga is a fucking catch.

That one comes courtesy of Skippy.  He told me today that if I lived in his family's hometown, he would introduce me to his brother to date.  I think, for a married man, that's a pretty high vote of confidence and compliment.

tortuga is....

too fucking old for this shit.   The PMS is not helping.

tortuga is...

unable to come up with a status message that doesn't either (a) passive-aggressively call one of you bitches out on your increasingly cuntish behavior as of late or (b) make her sound like a drama queen and put up some sort of woe-is-me message and has thus decided to act like an adult and just leave the damn thing blank until she can come up with something amusing or light-hearted OR until Friday when she'll put up her road trip message.

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I hate that I have had to friends some of my enemies for political reasons on Facebook.  (And no, if you're reading this, you're not one of them.  Besides, I would passive-aggressively call you out on your increasingly cuntish behavior here, not Facebook to make sure that the message was well and truly received.  Because I care.)  I've been trying to get my balance back by thinking through the Four Noble Truths but Facebook (as well as the Internet in general) are not compatible with nirodha.  So many people and things that I want but cannot have!  It sucks. Or just when I get almost detached, someone does something really cuntish and I get all annoyed and worked up again.  Being away from the Internet this weekend should help me get detached enough so that I'll stop feeling like a walking jangle of exposed nerve endings. I hope.  I need to get this under control or I am gonna have to smack a bitch pimp style before the summer is up.

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Word of the day?  Cuntish.  But you probably figured that out, Gentle Reader.  You're smart like that.

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On a somewhat related note, I was cruising around Second Life yesterday, and I ran into a more experienced workshop member who proceeded to act like a know-it-all bitch.  I hate know-it-all bitches!  So why do they keep finding me?  Just because I'm polite doesn't mean that I'm an idiot.  I can only hold my tongue for so much longer.

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On a completely unrelated note, I switched from Cinemax (which came as a free trial with my cable) and got Showtime.  The Tudors?  Complete crap but I love it!  I mean, there are so many things wrong with it - casting, acting, historical accuracy...but dammit if I'm not watching every week.   It's the television equivalent of a Phillipa Gregory novel.

[tortuga] is...

annoyed by fucking obnoxious people on FB who always feel the need to one-up her and as an added bonus ruined the rickroll for everyone.  What's next?  You going to tell everyone that Rosebud was a SLED?

Also, Fark is for socially retarded assholes who are unable to deal with the harshness of reality and thus spend their time mocking people on the Internet.  OH WAIT....I guess that's why you like it so much.  *LOL*

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That probably wouldn't fit in the box anyway.....

I've decided that I'm going to try and keep a running tally here of the Facebook Status messages I would write if I didn't feel like they would make my co-workers uncomfortable or get me fired.  Here's today's:

tortuga needs to stop finding sexual imagery in advertisements.

Look for the FB status tag to be making more appearances soon!